fredsavageiii:

this whole exchange was golden

meladoodle:

yeah i understand you’re charging me for bank robbery, but i licked the money so therefore it is mine

foodchewer:

maybe i’ll be hot tomorrow 

officialwhitegirls:

plugging in a usb on the right side on the first try 

image

carriesfirstperiod:

my mom just looked at a spider at our kitchen and yelled “why do you have to be like that? you dont need that many eyes or legs you need to stop”

just-laff:

egberts:

if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket

you are one of the great thinkers of our time

nice-wig-janis:

when plans get cancelled that you didn’t wanna attend

image

sarajxne:

that shitty feeling when you wanna go out & be social, but once you’re out, all you wanna do is be back at home

lion-eyes03:

IF HER BRA MATCHES HER PANTIES THEN CONGRATS YOU’RE GETTING LAID

irishwolfling:

unclefather:

What does this mean

um we’ve all seen hannah montana i think we know what this means

irishwolfling:

unclefather:

What does this mean

um we’ve all seen hannah montana i think we know what this means

I get way too sensitive when I get attached to someone. I can detect the slightest change in the tone of their voice, and suddenly I’m spending all day trying to figure out what I did wrong.
Humans of New York - Amman, Jordan (via 5000letters)

nialllhoran:

nothing annoys me more than people being like “LEARN TO TAKE A JOKE” when you find something offensive or disgusting like where am i learning to take this joke? to the fucking trash where it belongs?