when two people u follow have the exact same icon
lady gaga’s dog is wearing my college tuition around her neck
Watch that dog get robbed real quick.
…can you rob an animal?
If i see it on the street we gone find out.
if u have boobs ur a slut
I lost the cap to a soda bottle
Then you’re fucking stupid. If you can’t drink a soda without a cap, then you’re fucking stupid.
LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT. I COULDN’T FIND THE CAP TO AN ALMOST FULL 2 LITER BOTTLE OF DIET COKE. I WASN’T ABOUT TO DRINK THE WHOLE GOD DAMN THING ON THE SPOT. I DONT EVEN LIKE DIET COKE THAT MUCH. IF I PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE IN THE BOTTLE IT WOULD HAVE GONE FLAT SO DONT FUCKING CALL ME STUPID I AM THE FUTURE
THAT THEY’RE NOT TRYING
BECAUSE HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW IF THEY’RE TRYING OR NOT
JUST BECAUSE IT DOESN’T LIVE UP TO YOUR STANDARDS DOESN’T MEAN THEY’RE NOT TRYING
job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job
its almost midnight you know what that means..
That it’s almost midnight
|—||me approximately an hour after every time I make tea (via madopiano)|
when you are trying to make a mutual with someone who won’t follow you back
Homosexuality is unnatural! It says so in this book where snakes talk, people come back from the dead, a guy walks on water, and a virgin has a baby.