paradoxes-for-breakfast:

reasons why halloween is the best holiday:

  1. you are not obliged to visit your relatives
  2. you are not obliged to get gifts for anyone
  3. people will give you candy for absolutely no reason other than halloween
  4. its the only day when its socially acceptable to go out in public dressed like a penguin
vaginomics:

hey baby girl

vaginomics:

hey baby girl

jacobshutup:

who gave bugs the right

sexhaver:

goodbye forever

sexhaver:

goodbye forever

officialwhitegirls:

*wakes up from coma*

mom: great now that you’re awake you can do those chores i asked you to do 

stinkmits:

the assassination of Julius Caesar  

stinkmits:

the assassination of Julius Caesar  

84emojis:

*white woman in a salon chair voice* I’M FEELING BRAVE TODAY

refridgerator:

when you stay up all night doing hw and the teacher doesn’t collect it

image

vanconcastiel:

Plot twist

tootsied:

you think you’re cool but you’re just room temperature

shutupaubrey:

i love watching pets sleep bc you see their belly go up and down when they breathe and you’re like wow this is a lil living creature that’s all mine to play with